Straight men chatting secrets: from mouth stupid to emotional intelligence expert
In This Guide
- I. Opening: Break the silence and let the chat unfold naturally
- Second, chatting skills: so that the conversation is smooth and not awkward
- Third, the choice of topics: to make the chat more informative
- Fourth, the guide to avoiding lightning: these topics should never be talked about!
- V. Practical Exercise: Simulated Chatting Scenarios
- Sixth, mindset adjustment: self-confidence, sincerity is the key
- VII. Extra Benefit: Tips to Improve Emotional Intelligence
- VIII. Conclusion: Let chatting become a bridge for relationship development
I. Opening: Break the silence and let the chat unfold naturally
Sense of humor
- “Hi, am I too early? It feels like I'm the first one to the party.”
- “The way you're dressed today, are you getting ready for Fashion Week?”
Find common ground to strike up a conversation
- Observe the details: “You like this book too, huh? I just recently finished it and thought it was superb!”
- Environment cut: “This coffee shop has a very unique decor, do you come here often?”
Helpful Opening.
- “Hey, I'm not too familiar with this place, can you recommend where to go?”
- “The menu of this restaurant is so rich, do you have any special recommendation?”
**Tips**: Sincerity is more important than skill, appropriate display of your “weakness” can provoke the girl's desire to protect, but do not overuse.
Second, chatting skills: so that the conversation is smooth and not awkward
Ask more open-ended questions
- Avoid: “Have you eaten?” → Change to: “What do you usually like to do on weekends?”
- Ask deeper questions: “Why are you interested in this?”
Learn to listen and respond
- Identify with feelings: “I can totally understand how you feel.”
- Share having a similar experience: “I had a similar experience when...”
Share yourself appropriately
- Sharing work anecdotes: “Our company recently...”
- Life insights: “I went traveling last week and found...”
**Golden Ratio**: 70% for her to say, 30% for you to express, it is more important to keep curiosity than to show yourself.
Third, the choice of topics: to make the chat more informative
Hobbies
- “What drama/movie are you chasing recently?”
- “What sports do you usually like to do on weekends?”
Travel experience
- “What's your favorite city to visit? Why?”
- “Any interesting stories to share from your travels?”
Culinary Explorations
- “What's your favorite restaurant?”
- “Any hidden food recommendations?”
Future Planning
- “Do you have any goals for the next three to five years?”
- “If you could change one thing in your life, what would you choose?”
**Mine Avoidance Tip**: avoid checking questions and package the question as an open-ended topic: “Speaking of traveling, I recently read an interesting article about XX...”
Fourth, the guide to avoiding lightning: these topics should never be talked about!
Absolute taboos
- ✘ Ex: “How many boyfriends have you talked about?”
- ✘ Sensitive topics: “What do you think about XX events?”
- ✘ Money: “How much do you get paid?”
- ✘ Appearance: “Have you had plastic surgery?”
Alternatives
- Want to know about relationship views → “What do you think is the most important thing in a good relationship?”
- Trying to understand work → “What is the most enjoyable part of your job?”
V. Practical Exercise: Simulated Chatting Scenarios
Scene 1: First Meeting
- You: “Hi, I'm XX, nice to meet you. You look even more elegant than in the photo!”
- Her: “Thanks for the compliment, and you're in good spirits too.”
- You: “By the way, I just saw the book you were holding, and it just so happens that I've read it too, and XX views in it are very interesting...”
Scene 2: Interest Extension
- You: “You just said you like XX movie, I also like that director's work!”
- She: “Really? Which other works of his do you particularly recommend?”
- You: “I think XX is especially great, especially the treatment of XX scenes...”
Scene 3: Future Planning
- You: “You mentioned that you like to travel, is there any particular place you want to go but haven't yet?”
- Her: “I've always wanted to see the aurora borealis.”
- You: “That's a coincidence! I just happened to have been there last year and can share some practical advice for you...”
Sixth, mindset adjustment: self-confidence, sincerity is the key
Cultivate self-confidence
- Practice self-affirmation: “I have unique value.”
- Prepare an opening topic to reduce anxiety in the room
Sincere expression
- Don't try to please: “I really think you...”
- Share your true thoughts: “It may be presumptuous, but I...”
Process Thinking
- Focus on the conversation itself rather than the outcome
- Treat every interaction as an opportunity to get to know someone
**Mindset Golden Sentence**: “Chatting is not a performance, but a sincere exchange; Dating is not an exam, but the meeting of two souls.”
VII. Extra Benefit: Tips to Improve Emotional Intelligence
Observe the details
- Pay attention to her micro-expressions and body language
- Memorize the little things she has mentioned: “You mentioned liking XX before, and I just happened to see...”
Emotional empathy
- When she's happy: “I'm so happy to hear you share this!”
- When she's troubled: “That does seem quite disturbing, how did you resolve it later?”
Sense of Humor Development
- Learn to laugh at yourself: “It seems my sense of direction is worse than my navigation.”
- Timely teasing: “You are more serious about drinking coffee than working.”
VIII. Conclusion: Let chatting become a bridge for relationship development
Chat is not a pile of skills, but the flow of sincerity. Remember:
1. **Listening is more important than telling**: listening to her with all your heart is more valuable than preparing the perfect answer
2. **Curiosity is the best catalyst**: be genuinely interested in her life, not just “how can I make her like me”.
3. **Natural flow is more touching than deliberate performance**: Being true to yourself is more attractive than playing the perfect lover.
Love begins when you meet and ends when you know each other. Use your sincerity, respect and just the right amount of humor to start a great conversation! Every conversation is an opportunity to get to know each other, there is no need to rush things, let the feelings grow slowly in natural communication.
**Lastly reminder**: If you don't feel right, let go gracefully. True destiny will not let you feel forced, and comfortable communication is always the starting point of a good relationship. Come on, straight brothers, you deserve a good love!
Translated with DeepL.com (free version)