Recently, I received a private letter from a student in the background, “Teacher, my boyfriend has been in a cold war with me recently, he doesn't even take the initiative to talk to me anymore, and he doesn't pay attention to me when I talk to him, and now it's been a few days, what can I do to make him take the initiative to find me?”
I believe that many friends have experienced a similar situation, in the relationship, the conflict and contradiction is like a family affair, it is difficult to avoid. Cold violence is a real headache, the feeling of neither being understood nor valued will make people feel deeply powerless, and they have no idea how to break the deadlock.
So what does the best relationship really look like? In fact, it is very simple, no matter how quarrel, after the quarrel can be good as new, each other always harbor understanding and tolerance. Even in the anger, but also can stand in each other's point of view, know how to appreciate each other's good, love each other with all your heart, so the relationship is likely to be long-lasting.
If the long-term cold, even if the other love you deeply, time is long, the heart will gradually cold, hope will be slowly destroyed, and even produce the idea of giving up. So in the intimate relationship, cold violence is absolutely must not. How many couples or couples who were once in love and close relationship, because of the cold war, and eventually parted ways, and only after the regret, to find me back. This shows that cold violence is very harmful to the relationship.
In fact, many couples, couples originally good relationship, cold war is just because of a little thing. If the two can calmly sit down and have a good chat, the words open up, the problem will be solved, there is no need to go around so many corners.
So, when a man cold feet you, do not talk to you, we should how to deal with, in order to let him take the initiative to come to you, and know how to cherish you?
Stick to yourself and don't be swayed by cold feet
The relationship quarrel is normal, after the unpleasant, if one party can take the initiative to break the ice, it is naturally happy, as long as someone is willing to first show good, feelings generally will not be a big problem.
If you take the initiative to give each other steps down, he still ignores you, continue to cold feet you, then you do not need to hot face to cold ass. At this point, you should eat, drink, live as usual, treat him as air. The happier you live, the more you can stimulate him.
He won't be able to stop wondering, “What's going on? I'm ignoring her, how can she still be so happy and why isn't she still actively looking for me? She wouldn't have someone else, would she?......” When you realize that your cold shoulder is doing nothing for him, he will naturally take the initiative to come to you. Seeing that you can live your life wonderfully even without him, he may even develop a sense of crisis, thus wanting to be with you even more. This is human nature.
Therefore, we must not lose ourselves in the relationship, we must be clear about what we want, first to live their own lives well. When you have your own circle and rhythm, the man is not so important, and his coldness is not worth mentioning. You have to be able to achieve this state, you will not suffer from the man, even if you are alone, you can live a wonderful life!
Create a sense of crisis, so that he knows how to cherish
Some men are more confident, or even overconfident, and have become what girls refer to as a “Puxin man”. This type of man in the relationship is often self-righteous, always feel that they are very good, their own women can not match their own, no matter what to do will not leave him.
So they do things only consider their own feelings, only to their own happy, never for the sake of the other side, think the other side will not care. And many women in this kind of relationship are a little love brain, overly dependent on the man. After the man cold feet after their own, in order to take care of the overall situation, the initiative to please the man, the result of the man intensified, more and more unscrupulous cold feet her.
Smart women are very different, they will let the man know that they are not indispensable. For example, some girls will intentionally find male friends to go out to dinner, shopping, and then take pictures to send a circle of friends. Men see, will certainly be jealous, and then take the initiative to ask you who this man is, what is your relationship and so on. At this time, you just need to explain is a common friend, let the man believe on it.
Doing so is to create a sense of crisis for the man, can not just spoil him. Let him realize that again so cold to you, it is likely to lose you, so that he will not dare not cherish you, but will be better for you, afraid that you are snatched by others.
Live your own life and show your unique charm
In relationships, confident and independent women tend to live better. Don't be in a hurry to give everything for each other, but run your own life first. Even if you are married, don't give up the ability to earn money, financial independence is vital.
When a man leaves you alone, how you should live your life is still how to live, and even to live better than him, let him know that away from him you are still wonderful. You still have your own career, have their own circle of friends, normal work, and friends party. He does not contact you, you instead of racking your brains to think of how to coax him to be happy, it is better to put your mind on the work, and try to improve yourself.
Waiting for him to see the light on your body, found that you do not suffer from his cold feet, but in the continuous growth, without you show good, he himself will take the initiative to close to you, coax you happy.
So ah, when the man cold drop you, do not put a low profile to humble and beg. Especially you have taken the initiative to show good, but he still ignore you, this time to find him, will only let him despise you. You have to learn to be eager to escape, and seriously live your own life. Every day happy, dress up beautifully, when he found the cold to you have no effect, nature will take the initiative to find you.
Love is easy to get along with difficult, I hope that all the girls in the relationship are stick to their own bottom line, encounter problems in a timely manner, do not miss each other because of a moment of bravado.